touching the bottom

Yesterday was a bad day. (Yes...I have PMS if we must go there.) I was determined today would be better, so I promised the girls we would go swimming.

Canon was already in the water when a lifeguard approached me and asked if Elly was wearing a plastic swim diaper. Uh...no, she was wearing a disposable swim diaper. That's when I was informed of the new rule that went into effect this week...all non-potty-trained children must wear plastic swim diapers. So we couldn't swim. Seriously?! For the past three years I've used disposable swim diapers in that pool and we couldn't do it just one more day? I had to tell my kids to get out of the water after only being there for 30 seconds? Seriously?! Yes...seriously. So I started crying. Yep. Embarrassing. And as I was crying, the lifeguard informed me of another new rule...all children must be logged in and given wristbands according the their swim level. Which requires a swimming test. I found this annoying because Canon has passed several different tests. A test to go down the slide. A test to venture to the deep end. You name it...a lifeguard has demanded she be "tested." When I mentioned this, the lifeguard told me Canon will have to be tested again, but the log and wristband should prevent further testing. And though I was still crying and this was all very annoying...it made sense.

So...I dressed my wet girls, dressed myself, went back home, picked up a plastic swim diaper, went back to the pool, undressed the girls again, and we went swimming (which was quite embarrassing after all the crying). Canon took the test, which required her to jump in the deep end of the lap pool, tread water for 30 seconds and then swim the length of the pool. She breezed through it with a big smile on her face. She could have swam ten more laps. And she is the youngest person to pass the test so far. Her red wristband means that I can leave her at the pool unattended. (I won't because she is four-years-old, but I could because she's an awesome swimmer.) Yes...my girl is a total bad ass bottom (that's the terminology we use at our house) .

Which I guess means that I'm a total bottomhole. (For the record...once the girls and I swam, showered and dressed again, I found the lifeguard and apologized for being such a bottomhole. )

the curve

For the past few months, I've been obsessed. I often go through musical addictions where I want to listen to the same songs over and over, but this is different. It goes beyond the music.

The Avett Brothers are from my hometown. And at least one of the brothers still lives here. They write songs here. Compose lyrics about here. Record them here.

My whole life I couldn't wait to get out of this town. This creative vacuum...or so I thought. I'm completely and oddly fascinated by their success. This shared small town. The same roads. The same trees. The same grocery store. The same faces. And yet...they found their creative voices. Without really leaving this place.



"Living in my hometown" officially marked off the list of "Excuses for Lack of Creativity". No worries...I have plenty more excuses on the list.

me there

My mom took this picture during our recent trip to the beach. That's me, camera in hand. Truthfully...I don't know the first thing about photography, but I love my camera. And because I love it so, I am non-existent in almost all of our photographic family history.

This picture is proof I was there as the early morning sun sparkled on the water's glassy surface. As the December wind tossed the surf high into the air. As the cold sea rushed onto the shore. As my girls ran wild and free. I was there for all of that.

refreshing farewell

An end-of-the-year trip with my mom and girls to visit my sister.

Watching my girls spend one of the last days of 2008 running naked on the beach.

Finding myself unprepared for naked, wet girls in December and having to strip off some of my own clothes to keep them warm (a bit heart-broken and yet a bit relieved that I forgot my camera this day).

Canon's love for every plain, broken seashell.

Elly's ambitious attempts to swim to passing boats.

Alex working hard at his new job and therefore unable to go on our trip.

A fitting farewell to the year.


Hey there, 2009, I think you and I are going to get along nicely.

space holder

I'm here. Recovering from the holiday. Also recovering from a post-Christmas meltdown which involved lots of tears and then lots of sleep. I'll be back soon. I promise.

holiday wishes

happy holidays, people.

crazy kid stuff

The other day the girls had a neighborhood friend over. She is two-years-old. While the girls were playing upstairs, I heard Canon singing:

"Start the car
I know a whoopee spot
where the gin is cold
but the piano's hot.
It's just a noisy hall
where there's a nightly brawl
And all that jazz!"

I'm sure the neighborhood mothers will really appreciate Canon teaching their children some saucy Chicago tunes.
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In a rush to make it to a yoga class, I dressed the girls and then ran to my room to throw on my workout clothes. I left the girls alone for maybe a minute. When I came back, Elly had stripped off her clothes and diaper and was drinking milk from the carton. She was so nonchalant about it. Like yeah...I'm naked. I'm drinking milk straight from the carton. Jealous?

size matters

Today I was schlepping through the mall with my girls running wild. A very well-dressed man approached me in Old Navy. He said, "I have a question to ask you. It's kind of embarrassing, but are you a size 'X' or size 'Y' ? "(sizes have been coded to protect the innocent.) And then he motioned to the two pairs of jeans in his arms. I gave him my size....size 'X.' He thanked me and that was that. As I walked away I was struck by two things:

1) That was pretty gutsy. One size off and I might have been offended. I tried not to let it bother me that I was the smaller of the two sizes and yet he didn't offer up size 'W' as an option.

2) How was he even in the right ballpark? I can't even look at my sisters and guess what size they wear. Much less look at a random woman in the mall, consider her the same size as one of my sisters and select a pair of jeans.

Anyway...I hope I was able to help him in his Christmas shopping. And I sure hope her jeans fit.

christmas past

Since I am no longer religious, Christmas for us is a time for family and giving. But every once in a while a religious song will play in my Christmas shuffle, and I find myself tearing up. A sensory connection to a god I no longer believe exists, like a phantom feeling in a limb that is gone.

photo mischief

I knew I was in trouble when I looked at this little face. All I wanted were some decent pictures for the Christmas card. My camera lens ran straight into these mischievous eyes that said..."What? You want a nice picture for the Christmas card? We'll see about that. Bring. It. On." And then she stuck both ring fingers up her nose.

returning slowly

Here I am. The awards banquet went well, and I am slowly coming out of my stressed-induced stupor. The girls stayed in Georgia for more than a week so that I could work full-time, night and day. When they got back in town I basically had to take them straight to my mom's and dump them off there until everything wrapped up. I missed them. They both changed during the time they were away, especially Elly. Right now we are all just trying to settle back into things.

Today we headed into the city for a train ride and some Christmas activities.

I think Canon will be my city girl. She was so cool about the whole thing.

And Elly was so stunned by it all.

It's just mundane stuff today, people. And I have never been so happy for everyday normalcy.

I've missed you all.

holiday spirit starts next week

I left the girls in Georgia after Thanksgiving so I could wrap up this freelance job. It's a good thing because this has been a ridiculously stressful week. I miss them, though. A lot.

As soon as this job is over I'm bringing on the Christmas holiday spirit full force. I would really like to start a new tradition with the girls. Any suggestions? Anything special you do with your kids? Or you did as a kid?

Also...I want to give the girls a book each year for Christmas. I would love recommendations. What is your favorite children's book?

Because of work, my brain is totally mush. I'll be back next week.

christmas card photo shoot

I've been trying to find a good excuse for this post, but I can't. Just shamelessly flaunting some holiday cuteness.

holiday highlights

flicker

Sometimes I feel like a candle in a box. Occasionally there's a spark and my candle burns quickly and brightly. Everything is sharp, clear, in focus. My head is full of ideas and emotions. But soon the oxygen is gone and with a quick flicker everything is dark again.

That may seem pessimistic, but I don't mean for it to be. What I want to know is how to keep the flame burning. When you live in a box, where can you make small cracks to allow some oxygen to seep in?

moonlight

It's that time of year again when I start to wonder what the hell I was thinking. I'm not sure why I keep convincing myself a stay-at-home mom can handle this freelance job. I'm stressed. It didn't really help that I decided to read Twilight last weekend for a little escapism. In less than a week I finished all four books in the series. So basically when I wasn't working, I was reading. Like a socially awkward, bookish adolescent, I read in the car, at the table, at the mall, at the park...everywhere. Cleaning and laundry were the first things to go. Eventually everything fell by the wayside including sleeping and eating. Kids? Husband? The poor family has been fending for themselves.

Thursday night I was working and hopped up on caffeine. I decided that if I got a lot of work done, I would treat myself to the midnight premiere of the movie Twilight. So I headed to the local movie theater. The film was playing on five screens at midnight. Each theater was sold out and packed full of teenage girls. There were a few mothers and a couple smitten boyfriends, but otherwise just thousands of high school girls. I felt like a chaperone. Before the movie started a theater employee announced strict rules concerning seat saving and cell phones. Cell phones were absolutely not allowed once the movie began. If you were caught talking, texting or even checking the time on your cell phone you would be escorted out and refunded the cost of the movie. The teenage girls next to me were livid. I mean...no TEXTING?! FOR THE ENTIRE MOVIE?! I thought one girl was going to have a breakdown. And I couldn't help but think that it was midnight....on a school night! What on earth are these kids so urgently talking about? I'm old.

So now that I have finished the books and watched the movie, I guess I'm done with the vampires for a while. I miss them. I'm actually starting to feel like a vampire. The whole not eating, not sleeping (and occasionally wanting to kill someone) part. Maybe I've discovered another path to becoming a vampire....reading all the books in the Twilight series in less than a week. Beats being bitten. Dude, I'm delirious. Got to work.

today's bit of happy

Today, happy is dinner and a performance of Chicago with my mom....and all that jazz.
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And giving away a book. Annie you win. Email me your address. Sorry my first giveaway is a used book.

being happy

Things that made me happy today:

1) shopping at Target while the girls napped
2) talking on the phone to my sister and best friend while shopping
3) coming home to find Elly dressed in only a red coat
4) finding out Canon used her naptime to CLEAN HER ROOM!
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The past few days I've felt a little lighter, a little happier. Having Alex around to help out with the girls has been really nice. I've been able to bury myself in books. Sleep in. Get my shopping done during the day instead of having to wait until the girls go to bed at night. Just having a few extra moments to myself has been very restoring. I didn't realize how weighted down I have felt lately until some of the burden was lifted off. Of course I know my life is a piece of cake, but even so...sometimes it feels good to have a bit of a break.
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Check out curious girl; she's highlighting happy this week.
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What has made you happy lately?

time with them, time to read, good times

The one good thing about Alex getting laid off is all the quality family time we've had over the past few weeks. We may be broke, but we are having fun together, the four of us. It's silly little things like walking to the park, or making hot chocolate, or playing video games, or building a table tent (see the cute little feet sticking out), but it seems so much more special when the whole family is together.
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I finally decided to give in and see what every 13-year-old girl in the country is buzzing about. I went to Target last night after the girls went to bed and bought a copy of Twilight. And I'm already finished with it. Since it was so gently used, I would like to pass it along. Anyone out there in the mood for a teen vampire romance? If more than one person is interested, I'll have a little drawing Monday night. And by then I should be finished with the next book in the series.

fall hodgepodge

I basically went to the gym yesterday just so I could blow-dry my hair. When I drop the girls off in child care, I have to write where I plan to be in the facility in case of an emergency. I can't exactly write "locker room," so I had to get on the treadmill for a while just so "cardio" wouldn't be a lie. And while I was walking on the treadmill, I decided the YMCA needs cots. I mean...getting a nap in every once in a while would be great for my health.
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My little sister introduced me to Firefly. The sweet tea is very dangerous for this southern girl.
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I hate having to apologize. Not the act of saying "I'm sorry," but the need to do so. The position of being wrong. In my case it's usually because of quick temper or hurt feeling. I react and IMMEDIATELY recognize it was wrong and regret kicks in. Then there is the waiting period, hoping to be forgiven.
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I'm looking for new blogs to read. I'm hoping you guys might have a recommendation or three. My only requirement is that the blogger post fairly regularly. I tend to lose interest if I have to wait weeks for a new post. Demanding...I know.
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I'm freelancing again and super stressed out.