Another moment...

You made me believe
It was you that made me believe
And I let go
The barriers came tumbling down like circus clowns
And then... there was sorrow
The feel of nothingness
And the darkness
There was no more song
No more joy
Only... emptiness
Hollow shells laying
Corpses of what had been ... but no more
Is that what death is?
For I have died today and yesterday and tomorrow
And forever will I be just empty
No more words... no more laughs
Just endless drops in oceans immense
I grieve... but there is no reason, no cause
And yet the tears roll like seas swelled by pain and horror
Torture of unknown but recognised feelings
And still the pain remains...
Like a memory of what was and never will be again
And I know at that moment
I will have to say goodbye
But I cannot
Not just yet
I need another moment in time...

Missing…

I miss the blue of the sea reflected in your eyes, building sandcastles on white clouds, mirroring the want felt and ecstasy desired. I miss the fall into open arms of joy, into smiles of morning dew flavoured with coffee and apple scent. I miss the breeze of ancient whispers bathed in sunlight shared in glasses of burgundy laced with the taste of never ending. And I miss the soft rocking to and fro of the old song heard within and spoken softly under moonlight and stars…

Within ourselves…

It is within ourselves that we find the strength to overcome all that is not us, to fight the invisible madness that consumes us to the brink of disillusion, to discover the inner feeling of loneliness that brings us to the end of time.
It is within ourselves that we fight the darkness and the demons of our unrequited wanting that feasts on the desires alight within the very core of us.
It is within ourselves the terror emerges of a non existing light showing us the path to follow even on our darkest moments.
And it is within ourselves that we find the courage to love, to give our lives to the feeling of wanting and yearning, even when only coldness is the answer, to extinguish our essence so that love may remain.

Of lazy days and longing …

There was sunshine and yellow drops
Like snowflakes upon the green grass
We spoke of yesterday with the feel of now
And your lips tasted of honey
Mixed with known tomorrows
Your hands were like magic threads
Weaving delight and pleasure
Each stitch a new sensation, so powerful
Like thunderstorms on a summer’s day
The time stood still as always
And we lost ourselves in that known feeling
Of nothing else matters
Of lazy days…
And the goodbye bore deeper than ever before
Entangled with the disquiet of unknown tomorrows
And the longing today brings…

We were…

I remember the autumn colours
And the mist in our breath
There was rain, hard and cold
But there was also laughter
And joy…
We were kids playing with the end of summer
Feeling the autumn years of our decaying lives
And yet…
All was golden and red
Warm colours and hot beverages
Like hot chocolate on cold days.
It didn’t matter somehow
Because the sky would be once more blue
And the sun would sing the merry song
We had grown accustomed to
And all would be swell…
We were what we wanted to be
And in the history of time
That’s all we wanted to be…

The history of us...

We met when golden trees swayed in the wind
And kissed with the passion of young lovers,
Discovering the sensuous feel humid lips convey.
Your smile was like daybreak on a summer’s morning
Bringing the hope of all things new.
We watched the sea kiss the sands and wondered
Of ancient mariners navigating into the unknown.
Like the kiss of the hot sun
Your hands brought ecstasy to my abandonment
While our bodies sensed each other.
We covered ourselves with stars
Searching the universe of our loneliness
To find that anchor of promise.
After, so briefly we parted but our paths remained,
And once more we found the warmth
That binds the essence of us.
We looked into the sky where all is all
And your soft, warm lips touched mine
In the sweet embrace of renewal.
Once more lovers we were
And our thoughts joined in that
What makes us feel.
And under the late summer sky
Where sweet nothings are whispered
And lazy days turn into evenings
We once more loved and felt
Like nothing else was real.
Our senses filled with aromas previously not known
Unable to surface within the restrain
We set upon ourselves.
But now free, oh so free…
But so brief…
And again, again we parted.
Like a cold winter’s day,
My heart froze
Not in the moment but for the lack of you.
Our epic is not of momentous stories
But of loss and regret
Mine mostly but I think yours also.
We are drifters in a night with no end
We dream those dreams we always wanted
To come true.
And yet, we drift into the dark not knowing
If tomorrow will be just as today.
Our embraces, our moments
Are like tears of water
That quenches my thirst.
Never satisfying it, only perpetuating the need.
When we last travelled the sands of time,
When I last felt you so close,
I knew, my love, that time was gone.
All didn’t matter anymore,
For there was only you.
And I gave myself as if it was my last.
For the time we have
Is precious, oh so precious…
Like a rare stone found only in the depths of the universe.
That same universe that brings you to me.
And in the insanity that makes me love you
I find comfort…
We will journey again, and once more
I will give myself so totally
And love you so deeply
That I cannot understand.
But that is the nature of us
All so vague and all so true…

Just for you…

I wanted to send you flowers
Scented with brighter tomorrows
I wanted to send you doves
With whispering wings of hope
I wanted to show you a world
Without pain or sorrow
Where the sun shines within
Warming the loneliness felt
I wanted to tell you that without you
I am incomplete and the cold returns
But instead I tell you I love you
Now and forever
For you are and always will be my dearest friend

Thoughts…

There are times when I question if it is all worth it, if all the journeys on my path don’t just lead to a meaningless end, where I am always alone in the cold emptiness, for company only the echo of my voice. Scream I do, loudly, but there is no one to listen, for my voice has been silenced by those that do not hear. Those that once did, those have long since gone, departed into the shadows, like ghosts only remnants, no longer whole. I felt cold tonight, I felt alone, I felt I no longer want to travel…

For you…

For the friends that are gone
I leave my words
And as you pass through
Remember who I am
And leave your thoughts.
Do not be a ghost or stranger
But remember what once was
While reflecting on what no longer is.
Moments are like rivers
Running and changing
Cascading over the feeling
Of emptiness
While the dreams still within us
Remind us of sunsets on an autumn evening.
Beware of those with empty words
Speaking of friendship
For they bring their hands empty
And their heart cold…