enroute365

Enroute 365 is about ...

... the life journey with all its scenic twists and unexpected turns.

Enroute 365 is about:

Travel with me on this metaphorical highway, Route 365, as we share the stories and insights along our journey (some 365 days per year)! 

Putting my words on ice

After much soul (and schedule) searching, I have decided to put this blog on ice until Spring 2009. I was about to say that I made this decision with much regret ... until I remembered a promise made to myself years ago: I won't live my life with regrets; I'll make conscious decisions, then move forward with purpose and conviction.

In truth, taking this blogging break is something I willingly do in order to dedicate more time to meet increased family and career demands. I'm confident that most of you understand that harsher economic times can mean taking on additional work to make ends meet. It also can mean spending more quality time with family members who need moral support, especially those currently without jobs. These people and priorities have now taken center stage for me.

I thank those of you who have visited Enroute365 over the past year-and-a-half! I hope you will remain subscribed to my RSS feed and return here again when, after a Spring thaw, new posts shall once again emerge! In the meantime, my heartfelt wishes for a wonderful holiday season and renewed prosperity in the coming New Year!

The value of uncertainty

Uncertainty paid me a recent call. A wake-up call.

Over the last eight years, I’ve taken family weekends for granted. During this time my sisters and I have lived within a two-hour drive of each other, yet we’ve typically only found the time to make that drive four times a year. Or less.

But change is on the horizon. Now it appears that one family may have to relocate to a different job market. Another family awaits word of how a down-sizing will affect them.

This isn’t fair or unfair. This is life, I remind myself. Life isn’t predictable and those along for its journey cannot expect to remain complacent for too long. Which is exactly what I had allowed myself to become -- too comfortable – and what I pulled back from during a recent family get-together.

The family surrounding me, I tried to stretch each moment of the weekend as if I could keep it always before me in an elastic eternity. The words of my sisters hung in the air as I listened, not only to their shared stories and concerns, but also the tone and timbre of their voices. Even their arguments. In my nieces’ eyes, I relished the sparks of creativity and laughter … and I see these glints still. I cherished every embrace, however fleeting, and marveled at the caring conveyed by a touch.

For once, I was even content to play the observer as my brothers-in-law traded good-natured jabs. My witty repartee could wait.

I would love to see a bright sun mysteriously burst through the clouds that shroud the family's future and shine the light on answers that would keep my siblings and their families nearby. And that is what I'll pray for. Whether or not this happens, however, I am grateful for even the uncertainty of life which has caught me off-balance … the uncertainty that has made all I value precious again.

Prying my fingers from possibilities

Have you ever found yourself trying to take more than one path at a time? Maybe you've discovered that you don't get very far when trying to straddle several diverging routes. When writing my last post, The Nature of Life, I knew that I was not making any inroads through recent efforts to simultaneously direct and follow my life -- or, at least, my career. But upon reading your responses, I realized that my challenge was a bit more complicated.

Let me explain. I've come to realize that running my own consulting business on a full-time basis will never meet the goal I'd hoped for: being able to utilize my writing and/or design skill sets to their highest potential. Not when I must also function as the sales person, accountant and IT staff! So, it was time to re-evaluate. Still, I love being the strategist and the worker bee ... and having my own company allows me to test new ideas, something I wouldn't risk in a corporate setting. As a result, I continue to run my small enterprise with the intent of relegating it to a side business or "hobby job," after I find a full-time job that better fits my objectives.

Now, the U.S. economy isn't exactly cooperating with my plan! So, to temporarily supplement my income, I've accepted a temp job assignment. I was over-qualified for the job, but the position appeared just when I needed it. No other doors where opening at the time and, when I walked in for an interview, everyone and everything seemed so familiar, so ... right. "Maybe I'm being lead here," I told myself as I checked my ego at the door. Besides, my new contractor was so incredibly happy to snag me that my sense of self-confidence is still beaming somewhere over on Cloud 9!

As I undertake this job, however, I'm also trying to fill the gaps within my resume by educating myself and taking on specific non-paying projects that will enhance my portfolio. Because a new job or my own business might demand that I understand the new social media, I continue to immerse myself in that exploration, too. And, did I mention that I still envision myself as a freelance writer? So those efforts remain on my plate as well!

But, today as I responded to a recent comment, I realized that all these activities were not the result of a decision on my part ... but from a lack of one. I found myself trying to be a business owner, contract employee, job seeker, student and freelance writer ... all because I'd sure hate to miss out on any opportunity before me! I wasn't making choices, I was hedging my bets! And I've had to admit that I'm so afraid of not fulfilling my purpose or potential here on earth (or even fully comprehending what that is) that I' haven't let go of any path showing promise! And when anyone is so frantically jumping from one road to another, can s/he really be quiet enough to hear that still, small voice? Or proactive enough to intentionally forge a well-conceived future?

While last week I questioned when I should listen and when I should lead, now I'm facing the reality that doing either requires letting go: relinquishing my grip on a fistful of possibilities in order to effectively pursue one. Or two. At most, three. (I think you see my dilemma!)

Just try to pry my fingers off any one of my endeavors and I'm sure to give you a litany of reasons why I must retain it. Yet I'll also tell you, in all sincerity, that I am not a workaholic. Although, now that I think of it, I haven't taken a vacation in over two years.

My salvation lies, I believe, in the fact that I'm not very tolerant of indecision ... in myself or others. So now that I've realized I'm guilty of just this crime, correcting my course -- or, more accurately, settling on a single course of action -- should be easier.

I know I should be grateful. After all, I have a wealth of options to choose from. Many women don't have it this good. On second thought, some men don't either. I am facing the type of abundance that comes from having freedom. And freedom requires that decisions be made. I must choose which path to take at this point in my journey or remain stalled at the intersection. Maybe some of my options will reappear in the future. And that's what I'll remind myself: no true possibilities are ever lost because I am always free to retrace my steps and choose again.

How do you address decision-making? What choices are easy for you? Which are difficult?

The nature of life

Does life unfold for those who are open to embrace what it has to offer? Or should it be up to us take life "by the horns" and steer it in the direction of our dreams?

Is life a stream that takes us to our destinations as it will ... or is it the clay that we shape as we will?

I confess that I don't have the answer, although I suspect it lies somewhere between these two extremes. I just have to find where exactly that is for my own journey. These are the answers I still await as I continue to observe a period of stillness and listening.

I do agree with a recent post at A Day to Share with Tammy, that in many ways I create my life each day, even in the simplest efforts, as she describes:

During the summer months, when flowers are plentiful in my garden, I love to fill the house with these heavenly tokens. I arrange bouquets for my living room, bedroom, dining room, kitchen, and my desk. I know I am arranging them for me. With these flowers I am in good company ...

I may have stress and some complications, but in my heart I know that I can and will smile to myself knowing that I am in charge ... I create the roads that I will follow ...

Why be miserable when you can be happy? I looked at the flower on the table again. I saw a gift the flower was giving me.

But, when it comes to issues of personal achievement, I have on occasion been better served by letting my ambition take the day off! Some days God, fate or coincidence seemingly has other plans. And, from time-to-time, these plans have opened doors I could not have foreseen.

What about you? Do you accept life as it comes, mold it to suit, or adopt a different approach. Let me know! I'm still listening.

My turn to listen, to wait

I haven't been in writing mode these days. Rather, I've been listening, reading ... tuning in to the shared thoughts of others. Writing must wait.

I'm not entirely comfortable with my silence; it leaves me with a certain impatience. I don't even know what I'm waiting for, yet I know this mental immobility is my mind's way of telling me to be still, observe and learn.

I recently read a Turkish proverb that instructed, "listen a hundred times; ponder a thousand times; speak once." That proverb resonants now in my brain; it is not my time to speak.

I hold no doubts that my own words will come in their own time and, in the meanwhile, the lesson that I'm learning is how to wait.

Waiting is part part of daily life. Matthew Wheeler at I'm Coming Back as a Bug describes it well. In his post, "The Art of Waiting," Matthew writes:

In the rat race of our life here in America it seems to be a lot of hurry up and wait. Traffic is the perfect example of that. You get to a light, the light turns green, cars take off like they are racing the quarter mile, 0 - 45 in three seconds and then two blocks later then next light turns red and everybody slams on their brakes. Multiply that very same action for three miles and you become amazed more people don't suffer from whiplash.  ... All that stress, inefficiency and wasted time. Hurry up and wait.

Still, our culture doesn't know how to wait. At My Life as it Was, Is, and Will Be, S.S. Greylord writes about waiting, too. In her post, "Car Washes, Margaret Thatcher and Patience" she asks, "What ever happened to patience?"

We want our food and we want it now. We want our coffee so we race through the drive thru expecting it to be ready as we brake beside them. We want our drive-cleaning done today. So they offer same-day service.

My mind isn't offering that same calibur of customer service, so I must learn to be patient. Still ... I hope it's not a long wait. I'm not sure I have the time for it.