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Sun Tanning Accident

by Mr. Phucked 11/23/2008 12:30:00 AM
She went to top up her tan, she got a little more than she bargained for.

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Currently rated 5.0 by 1 people

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Breasts | Sexy

Guy Falls Out Of Window

by Mr. Phucked 11/22/2008 12:30:00 AM

Moral of the story, never show off to girls while standing on a rug...

 

 

Currently rated 3.9 by 7 people

  • Currently 3.857143/5 Stars.
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Accidents | Video

Muslin Online Dating

by Mr. Phucked 11/21/2008 12:30:00 AM

I'm sure many of you have tried online dating, but would it work in Muslim countries?
They cannot show their faces so how would you know if they were attractive or ugly?

Example Ad:
I like to take long walks on the beach and tease my date by allowing the wind to gently blow my burke (face covering) a little and maybe allow you a glimpse of my nose, maybe even a cheek.
Maybe after 2 years of dating, I'll show you my ear.
Email me, let's meet for a coffee, I'll bring my short straw...

Currently rated 3.8 by 5 people

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Dating | General Humor | Sexy

Massive Cum Shot

by Mr. Phucked 11/20/2008 12:30:00 AM

We have previously featured the Largest Cum Shot Ever in the world.
Some said it was fake, maybe it is, maybe it isn't.

If this one is fake, then Mr. Phucked will eat his own ball sack.

This video (submitted to me by Kurt) does not look fake.  His balls are just massive, it really does look like he has been saving that massive cum shot for some time!

Remember, you must over to 21 to watch the Massive Cum Shot Video

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Currently rated 4.3 by 6 people

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Masturbation | Sex | Sexy | Video

Crazy Elaine

by Mr. Phucked 11/19/2008 12:30:00 AM
In Los Angeles, KISS FM is a pretty popular radio station.  They have a show called "Ryan's Roses" where a radio employee pretends to send flowers to (usually a guy) for free.  The test is to see if he sends them to his girlfriend/wife or someone else...

In this case Elaine is testing her man.  It turns out, she is the crazy one!
 

Currently rated 4.8 by 16 people

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Dating | Sex | Sexy | Video

Do Not Do Steroids!

by Mr. Phucked 11/18/2008 12:30:00 AM
steroid abuse Severe Acne Conglobata Induced by Anabolic Steroids

Picture (a)
The patient was 21 years and reached his perfect body image with the assistance of Steroids.
Then, the shit hit the fan!

Picture (b)
shows severe Acne Conglobata

Picture (c)
Is after 6 weeks of antiseptic-antibiotic therapy.  Already his body has deteriorated in terms of muscle mass.

Phucked Up? For sure!

 

Currently rated 3.9 by 13 people

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Drugs | Phucked Up | Pictures

Palin and Obama on Dancing with the Stars

by Mr. Phucked 11/17/2008 12:30:00 AM
Palin and Obama on Dancing with the Stars

Currently rated 4.1 by 10 people

  • Currently 4.1/5 Stars.
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General Humor | Politics | Sexy

Dimitri The Stud

by Mr. Phucked 11/16/2008 12:30:00 AM
Would you date this man?  What a looser!
Make sure to read the transcript below the video...
 
 
Message 1

Hey Olga, it's Dimitri.

Sorry I had to leave such a rushed message with you when we met the other day. I just wanted to quickly give you my phone number, and needed to get the heck out of the area. In any event, I thought I had better leave you a more detailed message and explain why I approached you. I am single. I have no trouble meeting women; I mean, women approach me six or seven times a day. But I'm extremely particular about what I like. You're an extremely elegant woman. I couldn't take my eyes off you, and your friends were very jealous — even if they say they weren't, they were envious of the fact that I approached you, and I was very taken by you. Elegant women are very rare. I'm Greek and I'm extremely particular about what I like. So I'm giving you an opportunity here. I don't know if you picked up the message on the weekend but I'm working on a movie script so I'll be doing that all weekend…

This looks like a land line, and if it is you may not get the message till Monday. But when you do, call me and we'll get together for coffee or drinks, and let the romance begin. You looked very taken aback by my approach, and I hope that wasn't timidness, I hope it was just shock at being approached so directly. Because I don't really date timid women, because I'm a very direct, very passionate, very assertive man, and I want a woman who is very independent and strong. So… we'll talk about that, but I just wanted to formally introduce myself. I leave the ball in your court. You call me as soon as you have the courage to. Okay, Olga? Talk to you soon, bye.

Message 2:

Hi there, Olga it's Dimitri calling again, the guy from the street.
I left you a message several days ago you said you were interested. Now, here's the way I work. I don't like leaving second messages but I like you, you're a very elegant woman, you're very attractive, but, you know, I don't play that game. I know your friends tell you not to return calls; you're playing games like you see in stupid TV shows. So here's how it's gonna work. It is now 4:30 on Wednesday. Now I'll assume, I'll assume that you've already left work, because, you know, some people leave work early, so I'll grant you that. But if I don't receive a phone call back from you by 3 o'clock Thursday afternoon I'm no longer interested and I'm going to erase your number. I don't play games like that. I'm completely single, I'm very intelligent, I'm great in bed, I make great money. Believe it or not, I'm a complete catch. I've only been single four months; I had a long distance relationship for about a year, it's very tough to maintain it like that; there's nothing wrong with me. As a matter of fact I'm one of the few men in the city that has nothing wrong with him. So I'm giving you the three o'clock deadline. If I don't hear from you by then, you lose my number — I'm erasing your number right now, so you won't be hearing back from me.

So that's it: three o'clock tomorrow, or you can just completely forget it.

Now I understand if you've got other issues, maybe you're not playing games, I don't know… maybe you were abused in childhood?…Maybe your mother has cancer, and you're going to chemo…maybe you're just a person who's extremely frightened or has an anxiety disorder, maybe you're on some medication for that…I don't know, there could be another issue that I'm not aware of. But nobody says "Call me," hands a person a business card and then doesn't return calls. It's extremely passive aggressive. You should actually look that up, passive-aggressive personality disorder. You let me know, if you've got issues, psychological issues, if you're on any sort of medication for anxiety or depression, I'm not interested. But if you're psychologically normal, and you haven't called me because there's been some horrible thing that's happened in your life that's prevented you from returning my calls, that's fine. But otherwise? Don't call me. Okay, bye.

Currently rated 4.2 by 11 people

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Dating | General Humor | Phucked Up | Sex

Shopping Cart Disaster

by Mr. Phucked 11/15/2008 12:30:00 AM

Currently rated 4.4 by 23 people

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Video

More Moments In Time

by Mr. Phucked 11/14/2008 12:30:00 AM

After yesterday's horror with Got My Girlfriend To Model For My Car.
Time for some nice breasts!

Currently rated 4.6 by 10 people

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Breasts | Pictures | Sexy

Got My Girlfriend To Model For My Car

by Mr. Phucked 11/13/2008 12:30:00 AM
Got My Girlfriend To Model For My Car First let me say, THIS IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND.

These pictures are from a bodybuilding forum site where a guy called "GPX" proudly shows off his car and his girlfriend.
The comments on there are really pretty funny, but let's just say most do not think she is cute!

 

Perhaps they met when he ran over her head?  It would explain her face...

Click the images below for the FULL FACE SHOT!

Tila Tequila Naked Tila Tequila Naked Tila Tequila Naked
Tila Tequila Naked Tila Tequila Naked Tila Tequila Naked

Currently rated 4.4 by 11 people

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Cars | Freaky | General Humor | Models | Phucked Up | Pictures

GPS in Lingerie

by Mr. Phucked 11/12/2008 12:30:00 AM
lucia lorio GPS linger GPS can be used to track cars, airplanes and even bombs, help you find your way home. But did you know that it can even keep tabs on your lovers?

A new high-tech lingerie set by Brazilian maker Lucia Lorio comes with a GPS tracker for insecure lovers, but Lorio says the technology could also conceivably enhance personal protection.

The lingerie set comes with a bikini bottom, fake pearl necklace and a see-through lace bodice. The GPS unit is embedded in the waist area of the bodice and constantly updates the wearer’s position through mobile phone networks.

Lorio’s GPS lingerie currently retails for approximately $785.

Currently rated 3.3 by 6 people

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Crime | Dating | Gadgets | Sexy

Beware of Older Women

by Mr. Phucked 11/11/2008 12:30:00 AM
I ended up with an older woman at a club last night.

She looked OK for a 61 year-old.

In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter.
We drank a bit, and had a bit of a cuddle and then she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double.

'What's that?' I asked.

It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.

I said, 'No,' - excitedly.

We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was 'my lucky night'.

I went back to her place.

She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mum, you still awake?'

Currently rated 4.5 by 22 people

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Freaky | General Humor | Sex | Sexy

Mouse Baked In Bun

by Mr. Phucked 11/10/2008 12:30:00 AM
How would you like to open your bun and find a dead mouse baked in there?
This guy did, the mouse is fully intact, gross!
 

Currently rated 4.8 by 17 people

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Animals | Phucked Up | Video

Dear Red States

by Mr. Phucked 11/9/2008 12:30:00 AM
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware,
that includes California , Hawaii , Oregon , Washington , Minnesota , Wisconsin , Michigan , Illinois and all of the Northeast. It may even include Florida and Ohio , they are seriously considering it. We've given them until Nov. 4th to decide. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country. Since we're dropping the middle states we're calling it United America, or simply the U.A.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas , Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. You can take Ted Nugent. We're keeping
Bruce Springsteen and Billy Joel. You get WorldCom. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get Ole' Miss. We get Harvard and 85 percent of America 's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama . We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. Please be aware that the U.A. will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, really
we do, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire. We'd rather spend it on taking care of sick people, and educating our children.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines, 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans
(and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite , thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy Redies believe you are people with higher morals then we Bluies..

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too.

Peace out,

Blue States

Currently rated 3.6 by 33 people

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General Humor | Politics

America's New Currency

by Mr. Phucked 11/8/2008 12:30:00 AM

With the change of President approaching, change in currency is also.

Some might say this is racist and perhaps it is.  No offence intended, just for fun!

Currently rated 3.3 by 46 people

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Pictures | Politics

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