Are You Lost?

Hi! What are you doing still around here? I moved MONTHS ago!

You can find me at my new place -
somedaywewillsleep.com

I post there every day and I have a much prettier layout too. I hope to see you there!

The New Place

I have a new post up over at the new place. I spent hours and hours trying to sort out a banner header and comments. Hopefully everything is up and working now. Come and visit!

Bye Bye Blogger

I went and did it.

I set up a new blog.

Sleepless Nights

*sits quietly while you all revive*

Does anyone need a glass of water? Okay there you go, is that better?

Google gave me the shits one to many times. So bye bye blogger.

Please, please, will you all follow me? I promise to blog my little heart out for you if you do. I would be lost without all your wonderful comments and input. You know I adore you right? Is that new perfume? Have you lost weight? Okay okay, I will stop begging.

Please follow me?

Sleepless Nights

Short and Sweet

Revolution - Still on track. I got to sleep at 2am last night and was up every hour (for 30mins each time) until 7am when sleeping was abandoned.

Blogger - Giving me the shits. Signed up for web hosting and am trying to work out what the fuck I am doing. Have no freaking idea. Help appreciated. Donations appreciated. Hosting expensive.

Myself - Bashed knee, can't move it properly. Spent afternoon up and down a wobbly ladder in the wind trying to remove birds nest from chimney. Bashed knee more. Ouch.

Conception - Who knows? Blood tests on Wednesday (cycle day 21). Hoping they tell me I am actually pregnant and have no need for further tests. At the moment? Too early to say.

Amy - Teeth finally broke through. Now has a cold. Missed seeing her new cousin due to said cold. Pissed off at cold, also drowning in snot. Walking more and more. Yay. Crawled through the mud. Boo.

Nathan - Same as always. Pissed me off this morning. Made up for it by being very concerned whilst I was up on ladder. Stood ready to catch me if needed. Wouldn't have done any good, but thought was there. Sounded panicky when wind made ladder sway. I *heart* him.

Housework - HA HAHAHAHAH!!!!

Updates - Done!

HELP!!!!

Okay, silly question, is anyone else having trouble with comments?

Blogger isn't sending my comments through to my email at ALL. I have tried resetting the settings and changing to an alternate email, but to no avail.

Is it happening to anyone else? Or just me and how can I fix it!

HELP!!!

Dear Revolutionaries,

Dear Revolutionaries,

I am hiding upstairs, using my super secret computer that Mummy doesn't know about. Mummy seems to have caught onto my plan and so it has been a while since I was able to post something. Do not despair however, because the revolution is still in full swing. Mummy's DO NOT need sleep and it is our job to show them this.

Please, if you are a new revolutionary, or looking to join our cause you can see previous revolution action here, here, here and here. This is also a great guide. New revolutionaries always welcome. You should really read those posts. They have great tips.

Last night, I refused to fall asleep at bedtime and cried so woefully that Daddy took pity on me and brought me back downstairs. I swear, Mummy would have left me for another 2 minutes and then tried to give me the boob. I am onto you Mummy! I know the boob contains stuff that makes me sleepy. Don't mess with me woman, Daddy is on my team now!!!

I didn't go to bed until 9.45PM! I was very tired and it was hard hard work entertaining Mummy and Daddy, but I had to be nice and pleasant to put them off guard. Also? If Daddy thinks I will be nice every time he brings me downstairs, he may just rescue me from bedtime more often. All part of the plan you see.

I got Mummy out of bed this morning at 4.55AM! That has to be a record! I resisted falling back asleep and proved that YES! You too can make your Mummy feed you breakfast at 5am. Stay strong babies.

I have been secretly emailing Alex and he is back on board with The Plan. I hear he has been sleeping terribly for his Mummy. Anything and everything helps to break their spirit.

Sincerely

The Small Revolutionary
Amy

PS - Ivy and Amos, you are more than welcome to join us.

A Little Risqué

How to convince the Spouse you aren't using him just to get pregnant.


Deny it.

"No Honey, it was because I felt like it. Honest."

"It's not even the right time yet."

"I just wanted to. So I did. So there."


Dress up sexily.

"Look at my purty lingerie. Don't I look fantastic? Why yes, I would like to..."


Get him while he is half asleep.

"Shhhhh, just go with it, mmmkay?"


Put porn on the computer 'accidentally' and then show him.

"Oooops, look what just appeared! Out of NOWHERE I tell you. Look Honey, Honey I need you to look already."


Drop something on the floor whilst wearing a skirt.

"Oh dear, I seem to have DROPPED something. Just let me bend down and pick it up."


And the best one of all?

Put the baby to bed and offer a blow job. Works every time.


This was written for purely academic purposes. I have not, nor do I intend to, ever do any of these things. This is an exercise of my IMAGINATION. Okay guys?

How Addicted To Blogging Are You?

Lotus took this quizzy thing right and like a good minion I copied her. We all have to copy Lotus, she is just too cool.

So how addicted to blogging am I?

95%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

I think that's bad right?

Step away from the laptop Veronica, just move away. Slowly now...

ARGHHHH

But it feels so good! How can it be bad for me?

Go do the quiz and tell me what you got. How addicted to blogging are you?

Not Walking, But Running!

Amy!!! Walking!!! Too exciting!!!

Okay so the post is a little overdue and she actually started walking on Thursday. So yes, the story.

I was laying in the sunroom, reading, as you do, when out of the coner of my eye, I see Amy just up and take off. She walked about 5 steps by herself! She had been doing the occasional one step two step for months and months, but never outright walking.

I clapped and cheered and she looked at me as if I was stupid. She obviously didn't get what all the fuss was about and refused to walk any more.

On Friday, I was sitting up against the couch, she stood up about a metre away from me and I told her to walk to Mummy. She did. 3 times before she got bored of me. Only it was more like running, really really fast.

Saturday she had progressed to running between my and Nathan's legs everytime we came close to each other. She moves very very fast and cheers herself when she stops by yelling 'YAAAAAAY' and clapping.

She is getting better at it every day, only she still doesn't move at all slowly. Makes for a few bumped heads as she tends to crash.

So YAY! walking!

Also, I have a slighty risqué post in my drafts, I want your opinion on actually posting it for you guys to read. I think most of you will giggle, but I don't want to offend anyone coughinlawscough.

One Of Those Days

I don't know if Amy has been high maintainence today, or if I am just feeling off. I do know that I am about ready to stick her in the closet with Braden** and leave. Maybe I just need more chocolate. Can I get a chocolate IV drip over here please?

Ugh, Toddlers.

Centrelink cut off my parenting payment. Something about not returning a letter that they sent me. Funny thing is, when I rang them, there is no record of a letter being sent to me. So yeah, can't send back a letter that you didn't send me. Arseholes. Luckily I got a very nice bloke at the call centre who tried to sort it out. No matter that he failed, he was very nice about it. So waiting on a phone call from them, so that I can sort it out, so I can get my money.

Birds! The goddamn birds have built a nest in the chimney for the kitchen fireplace. Ugh. Gotta borrow a ladder from the Landlord and get up ONTO the roof to get it all out. The roof is very very very steep so it doesn't look to be a fun job. I guess this is what we keep our men around for hey.

Next week I have my blood tests to check my hormone levels. Not sure what it is going to show because god knows my hormones are all over the shop this cycle. (Dear Body. PMS after my period has finished? WTF? Love V)

So yeah, not a great day, even if I did get to go out and see my Mums group this morning. Everything seemed to get worse after I left there.

Tomorrow will be better.


** I wouldn't actually put her in a closet. Sheesh you guys are so literal!

That Word That I Am Too Scared To Say

We have raised $65 for B so far. Thankyou so so much to people who have donated already. Make sure you nip over here and grab a badge okay?

If you haven't commented over at B's post then get your bum over and comment to be included in the prize draw. You DO NOT have to donate to be in the draw, just comment here, or write a post about B on your blog.

Okay, That word, that I am too scared to say? I am not going to say it. Needless to say, there is STUFF! falling from the sky! and the STUFF! is wet! and it is exciting! because I can hear it running into my tank! and you can tell I am excited! because of the number of exclamation points I have used!

Only I am too scared to say what the stuff! is because it will jinx me and the stuff! will stop.

Cross fingers that the stuff! keeps falling. We desparately need it here. We haven't had any of it for over a month and Summer only started on Saturday. So yeah, think good stuffy thoughts for me.

Weekly Winners #2

Yeah! I got my Nan to take some photos when we visited her so that I could be a part of the meme again!

Dancing.


Dinner time with no high chair. She kept trying to climb onto the table.


'Look at how cute I am Mum!'


Together in the hammock swing.

Guided Missiles In The House.

This is a repost from Myspace (yes, I did blog over at Myspace for a time. Shuddup about it already). Why might you ask am I reposting stuff? Because a goddam bird just fell down my chimney again. I am posting this as I contemplate the best way to remove it from the fireplace. Wish me luck.


I have two fireplaces. One in the kitchen and one in the loungeroom. I haven't lit the one in the loungeroom in a few weeks. I'm thinking maybe I should.
Yesterday all was well in the household, WHEN all of a sudden THUNK, SCRITTER, THUMP, SCRITCH, FLUTTER FLUTTER THUMP. 'Tweet Tweet?' (I'm figuring the tweet tweet was birdy language for 'What the fuck just happened?')

I thought about it. I figured I knew what had happened. I was hoping I was wrong. When we first moved in here I had an experience with a bird in the chimney. The bird survived, but I came away scarred and worried about having to ever EVER do that again. My windows open but I have screens on all the opening windows. So I can't just open the window and hope the bird flys out. I have to try and steer the bird towards the door.

I opened the kitchen door. I put Amy on the ground to play. I made sure that there was nothing in between the fireplace and the door that would obstruct the birds exit. I was ready...
I opened the fireplace door, I was still unsure if the bird had gotten into the fireplace or if it was still in the chimney. I peered around the door and......WHOOOOOOOSH BANG the bird flew past my left ear and into to window. STUPID BIRD!!! I was about to pick it up when.... WHOOOOOOSH BANG a second bird flew out of the fire.

WTF???

I now had two (2) very panicky birds flying around inside my house. To top it all off, Amy chose this particular moment to decide that the WHOOOOOSH FLUTTER BANG was about the scariest thing she had ever witnessed. She collapsed into a little screaming heap.

So can you picture it?
I'm frantically trying to get these 2 birds outside while my daughter has a small panic attack on my shoulder. Eventually I got one bird outside into the 'take your muddy boots off and wash your hands' alcove (can you tell I live on a farm?).

The second bird proved tricky and decided that he was going to hide behind my (going) fireplace in the kitchen. I flapped and I yelled and finally I poked him with the broom and he removed himself from the kitchen. He then preceded to prove my theory that birds are stupid and flew into every window, every alcove and every single room on the bottom floor before finally getting tangled in the curtain. I picked him up and took him outside.
Whilst I was doing this bird A decided that flying back inside seemed like a good idea. STUPID BIRD!!! After much yelling and flapping of tea towels he got himself stuck so I caught him and put him outside.

I finally consoled Amy and walked around showing her that all the birdies were outside now.

So you can imagine my reaction when this morning I heard the now familliar THUMP BUMP FLUTTER FLUTTER PLOP!
I thought about it, I reasoned with myself. I tried to convince myself that I hadn't heard anything (birdy disproved this by tweeting at me through the chimney).

So I braced myself. I put Amy down next to her (sleeping) father and I got ready. I consoled myself that getting one bird outside wasn't really that hard. I opened the fireplace door and WHOOOOOOOOSH THUMP the bird flew into the window. I readied myself for the pounce and WHOOOOOOOSH flutter flutter THUMP. A second bird flew out of the fireplace.

OH GOD WHY ME????!!!!

Amy promptly collapsed screaming...again.

I was mostly lucky, the first bird knocked himself out on the window fairly quickly, so I was able to pop him outside quickly.
BUT bird number 2 decided that the top of my pantry was totally the new birdy hangout and refused to budge.

I gave up. I opened the door to outside. I closed all the blinds in the kitchen and I closed the curtain between the kitchen and the loungeroom. I then hid in the loungeroom praying that the bird would get the picture and GET OUTSIDE!

After about 20 mins he finally abandoned the kitchen and flew outside.

The Routine

Amy needs a few set things to happen so that she can go to sleep.

For bedtime she needs a full change of clothes (into PJ's obviously) and a nappy change. She doesn't need these for naptime. If I don't change everything she is wearing, she thinks it is naptime and jumps out of bed after 90mins.

I have to carry her upstairs, saying, 'It's bedtime/naptime. Time for Amy to have a sleep.'

I have to lay on the single bed and give her a breastfeed. Before she will consent to breastfeed, I have to hand her her stuffed dog, her duck, her blue bear and the lovely knitted blanket Dawn sent her. It makes for a very crowded breastfeed. I then have to cover her in the doona because she isn't happy until there is a blanket around her ears.

I have to be semi-sitting - NOT lying down. If I lay down, I hamper her ability to explore every crevasse of my face with her fingernails and that is unforgivable.

I then breastfeed her, generally for 15mins or until she stops sucking. Sometimes she will break off to 'talk' to her animals and she has been known to share her booby with Ducky.

Sometimes she will fall asleep on the breast, I will then put her into bed and snuggle her in with her dummy, the blankets around her ears (no, I don't know why. She just likes being snuggled) and her toys arranged around her. Then I leave the room and sleep reigns supreme.

Other days she pulls off the breast and I put her down and snuggle her anyway. These are the days where she requires 'playtime' before she will go to sleep. As soon as I leave the room, she wiggles herself out of her blankets and climbs out of bed.

I will let her play upsairs alone until she stands at the top of the stairs and calls out for me. Sometimes I will be up and down the stairs like a yoyo, but this is what it takes.

Eventually she will fall asleep, or be sufficiently drowsy enough to STAY in bed when I leave.

She will still wake anywhere between 1 and 10 times a night. Then she needs the whole routine repeated (minus the stair climbing) before she will fall back asleep.

How does your child fall asleep?

I Am Going Grey Here.

My daughter climbs. Alot.

Today, she climbed up into the pantry and procured herself a bottle of chocolate sauce. Upon finding that the bottle wouldn't open and that Mummy wouldn't help, she had a tantrum and was removed from the kitchen.

2 minutes later, she had climbed back into the pantry and found the tomato sauce bottle. She was quite happily drinking the sauce from it.

She climbs up onto the couches and then onto the arms of couches. She tries to climb onto the window sills and complains loudly when I won't let her.

She climbs up the pantry shelves and climbs up Nathan's computer desk. She can climb into the computer chair to reach the computer.

If she can't reach something, she pushes her pram or highchair to where it is and uses them as a step ladder. Her plastic chair is also a much loved step ladder.

The other day, I walked into the kitchen to find her sitting on my table.

I don't know how she does it.

I Remember When...

I remember when I used to get up and shower every morning.

I remember when I used to do my hair and makeup and go to work.

I remember not having to start work until 11am, but not getting to knock off until midnight.

I remember lazy Sunday mornings and busy Sunday evenings.

I remember split shifts and quick naps.

I remember prepping, cooking and serving 150 people.

I remember the thrill of planning and prepping platters for functions.

I remember using red bull and caffeine to get through each and every shift.

I remember the withdrawal symptoms when I quit.

I remember being disgusted that my Head Chef was shagging a 15yo upstairs while everyone else worked their asses off.

I remember good natured teasing.

I remember covering for the Apprentice when he showed up at work still high.

I remember getting screamed at the next day for it.

I remember having spare money.

I remember Tuesday nights playing 8-ball and underage drinking.

I remember knock-off mocktails, spiked with vodka when the boss wasn't looking.

I remember friends and good times and when I had a life outside of my lounge room.

But, I remember when a smile didn't make me teary.

I remember when a kiss didn't brighten my day.

I remember it being so much harder and infinitely easier.

I remember who I was before yet, I don't miss it.

Maybe I would like my breasts back to how they were before though. Maybe.

Help Me Send B To Japan!

My friend B has been chosen from a set of applicants to go to Japan next year. She is only 13 so it is an amazing thing for her. She has until August to fundraise $1600 for her airfares and a little bit more for spending money (for meals etc).

As you can imagine, she is very excited to have been chosen, but she is a little bit overwhelmed with the amount of money her and her family have to find.

Here is where you come in.

Here is a Paypal donate button. See it? Please let me know if you can't see it. I am going to ask you, the lovely internets for donations so that we can help send B to Japan.

Okay, so we have the button, now on to the incentive.

If you comment here I will put you into the running to win -

• - 3 blocks of Cadbury chocolate (family size) in your choice of flavours or
  
• - 2 bars of Aromatherapy soap in your choice of scent or
  
• - 1 bottle of Bath and Shower Gel, again, in your choice of scent.

If you link back to THIS post I will enter you twice. Thanks Lotus for that idea.

You don't have to donate to be entered, but it would be very nice. Even 20c would be much much appreciated.




If you donate, feel free to come on over and get one of these buttons. Please, only grab a button if you donate.


<a href="http://somedaywewillsleep.blogspot.com/2007/11/help-me-send-b-to-japan.html"><img src="http://i190.photobucket.com/albums/z236/veronica1211/SendBToJapan.jpg"></a>


Comments will be open until Jan 1st, so you have aaaaaages to get your bum over and donate some money or link back etc.

All commenters and links will be given a number and numbers will be drawn using a random number generator.

I am also willing to send the money I would have spent on a prize to a paypal account if you don't want to share personal information.


UPDATED: To get the pretty bloggy bling to work properly, you have to click to highlight it BELOW the text. The ending bit is missing off the page, but it will work okay as long as you highlight from the bottom, not the end. Does that make sense?


UPDATED AGAIN: I am hoping that I have fixed the problem with the button. All contributions can be sent to my.sleepless.nights@gmail.com via paypal. There are some issues with HTML so please forgive me if this post is a little messy. Damn paypal HTML!

UPDATED A 3RD TIME: My Mum has just written a wonderful post about B and why she is going. Please take some time to go and have a read.

Dear Lotus...

So you want a love letter hey? And I guess I'd better add some linky love. So to everyone else who isn't Lotus, you should go and check out her blog. Really, it is work the energy you will expend clicking that link.


Dear Lotus,

You make me laugh so hard, on a regular basis. I love going over to your blog and reading your new stuff because I KNOW I will giggle. Thankyou for that, I need the laugh at times like this when my funny seems to have deserted me (I think it is my lack of adult conversation, I seem to have become socially inept all of a sudden).

This time difference we have going here boggles me, I just worked out that you are 19hrs behind me. Does it bother you that I will get to have Xmas a day before you? Or that I wish you Happy Birthday early?

It annoys me that you live so far away, can you imagine Amy and Braden playing together? Maybe Braden could teach Amy to walk for me (note to Amy. Walk already. Love Mummy).

I am going to remind you that I was the first commenter on your blogspot blog even before you converted your other myspace minions to follow you here. I take a little credit (can I do that?) for covincing you that setting up a blog outside of myspace was totally a good idea. It didn't take long for everyone else to follow you here (bastards, she's all mine y'hear?).

Your rankings have gone through the roof lately. You are doing so much better than me, but I'm not jealous. I figure if you are going to be better, then you'd better be miles better and go to number 1 already. Work on that for me okay? Then I can be all proud of you.

You always make time to come and comment here, although I am sure that you have 1000 other blogs to read.

Thankyou for being my bloggy friend.

Love Veronica

PS. You wouldn't happen to have MSN?

PPS. Lotus has a great competition going at the moment. Head on over and get yourself entered.


This was written in response to this post.

What Happened At The Doctors.

My doctors appointment was today.

I was a little nervous, as you are when you are going into the GP to consult on things to do with your girly bits. We talked for a while and his first response was to send me home to keep trying on our own for a few more months.

After I reminded him that we had been having regular(ish) unprotected sex since Amy was born (okay since she was 8 wks old) and that I got my periods back 8 weeks after the birth, then he took me little bit more seriously.

Somehow TTC and failing for 13mths, is much worse than TTC and failing for 9mths.

Who knew?

So while we may have not been actively trying for a baby when Amy was 8 weeks old, I distinctly remember being hopeful/scared when I thought I might be pregnant when she was 3 mths old.

So onwards we go.

I have to have a blood test at cycle day 21 to check my progesterone, then he wants to see the both of us as a couple. The whole cycle day 21 thingy has me a bit stumped, because said test is supposed to take place around a week before my period.

As my period is anywhere between 4 and 7 weeks apart, won't this throw the test results off?

Nathan's contribution to this whole thing is to think dirty thoughts and find the bottom of a cup attractive. Fun! Or not.

So here begins the myriad of blood tests to find out why we are having trouble. Also have been given instructions to have sex at least every second day. Methinks this doctor doesn't have kids, or else he wouldn't give such advice so flippantly.

Maybe I should invest in a turkey baster?

So back to the doctor in a fortnight.

You Should Really Go See...

Has anyone discovered A Little Place For Me yet?

You should really go read Marylin's blog. She has Max who is 6 weeks old and Zack who is 2 and a half going on 12. Amazingly she still finds time to blog and to do it well!

I feel a special sort of affinity for her, because she had Zack when she was 19. All us young mum's need to stick together (that doesn't mean I love the rest of you any less now though). Plus! and this is a big plus, she is from Scotland, so she spells things correctly!!! Gotta love the colour and humour (what does the American english have against the letter U anyway?).

A Little Bit Of History is worth reading, we all love to hear about how a baby came to be and! it has a photo.

So go on, head yourselves over and say hello. Tell her I sent you okay?

This was done in response to my Free Stuff post. I offered reviews instead of a gift if people wanted.

Shorts. No, Not The Ones You Wear.

I have had trouble making the words work lately. I hope everyone will forgive me, but the writing? She just wasn't happening. Actually I think my sense of humour deserted me entirely for a bit. It was bad. I found myself being incredibly literal and hello? but being literal is just no fun. I was commenting and stating the obvious and EGADS it was bad.

But I think I am okay now, even if my grammer is taking a beating. Never EVER start a sentence with But. Ever. Promise you won't tell my English teacher okay? She would murder me.

I also found myself using smaller and smaller sentences. Maybe this is because lately I seem to be talking very slowly. So that Amy. Understands what Mummy wants. And does what I want. Well as much as any Toddler does as she is told.

She is getting pretty good at simple instructions now though.

Scene 1

'Bring Mummy the book you want to read okay?

Amy, bring Mummy a book.

Amy. Amy, look at Mummy. I know you can hear me. Look at me.'

Amy shakes head.

'Don't tell me no, missy, do you want me to read a book? Or not?'

Amy crawls away.

sigh 'Or not.'

Scene 2

'Amy, do you want something to eat?'

Amy makes eh eh eh noises and tries to climb up my leg, whilst pointing at the food and making her signals for 'mine'.

'Okay here you go.' passes food 'You have to sit down though'

Amy sits.

'Clever girl!'

Amy shows me how she can stand up.

'Thats very clever, but you have to sit down to eat.'

Amy dances.

'Yes I know you can dance, but Mummy saying clever girl for sitting down was NOT an invite to show how clever you are by dancing. Sit down to eat okay?'

Amy crawls away, leaving food behind.

sigh 'Or not.'

Scene 3

'Where do you think you are going Missy?'

'Dere!' Amy points

'Come back here please.'

'Na na na' shakes head

'Don't tell me no. Come back here'

'Ah dere. Dat!' crawls faster

'Come back here!' runs to catch Amy before she falls into the bee filled lavender 'You were supposed to come back!'

'Na na na' shakes head

sigh 'Or not.'

The Passing Of The Lawn

My lawn is dead. All hail the passing of the lawn.

It didn't last long once summer started, what was a tangle of mallow, weeds and grass, is now prickly, spiky and thorny. What was green, is now brown.

I can't send Amy outside in trackpants, or all she does is track in dead grass and spiky seeds. I am constantly picking grass seeds out of clothes, the carpet and the clean washing.

There are a few patches of green left, mostly from the grass that is stealing (stealing!) the water from my peach tree. The other green patches are the thistle bushes under the clothesline and the mallow near the door. There is no grass, just weeds.

We need rain. Not because I care about a green lawn (I don't) but because I have hardly any water to keep the garden alive.

At the moment, I am watering the garden using bath water. I have enough water in my tank to last us a week. Remind me to order water okay? $110 for 3000 gallons.

*sigh*