Creative Leftovers.

I hate to waste food and this holiday brings out the waste in us. Waste is everywhere. Well this year I was determined not to waste anything. My son used the leftover cranberry sauce for a school project. He diluted the purple crap til it became a pale pink and made a very nice watercolor art piece out of it. It turned out better then we thought it would. Anyway, his teacher was none too pleased. He did pass after we argued that the live ants stuck on the canvas made it a living masterpiece. Way to go son. The turkey bones weren’t wasted either. Those we made into a tv stand so we could get the large non-working console color T.V. from nineteen seventy-two out from under our twelve inch black and white. The yams were the hardest thing not to throw away though. Those we decided to poison and feed to the neighbors yappy mut.

Flash Gordons.

Well it must be that time of year again. I don’t mean the holidays. I mean tourist season. Everywhere I turn I am blinded by the flash from these peoples damned digital cameras. Is it truly necessary to take a picture of every McDonalds you fucuking eat at while you’re on vacation? These idiots stop at the top of the bridges to take pictures of the how the blue water magically matches the blue sky as if it were something unexplainable. I even get blinded by the bastards flashes as they take pictures of oncoming traffic as if to prove they were on the road in paradise and someone else witnessed it. I wish they would stay at home and just send me their money. How hard could that be really?

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